Ever have one of those things happen, whether it be dream state or awake state or somewhere in between, you're not really sure. Well, that's what happened to me early this morning. I'm not sure of the time. It "felt" as if it may have been in the four o'clock to five o'clock range.
I tried to express it to Bobby this morning before we got out of bed. We were lying there talking and I was just a chatter box. I mean I was just going from one topic to the next. I had so much to share. Anyway, I was trying to share with him about this dreamlike/awake thing that had happened earlier.
Basically, I cannot describe it well because I'm not clear of it myself. It's like when you awake and you have been dreaming, but you cannot remember the dream, but you know it was good and you want to remember so badly, but it will not come to you. It's like that but different.
Now that I have you thoroughly confused. :)
Here's what happened. I had a dream and I think it was about someone going through a tough time. I think the girl was going through some traumatic event. Anyway, the next part is the part I am not sure if I was dreaming or not, but I CLEARLY had the thought, "CRYING IS NOT A LACK OF FAITH, IT IS A RELEASE OF PAIN."
After I thought/heard that CLEARLY, I woke up or came out of that semi dream state and I just knew I could not forget that thought, "crying is not a lack of faith, it is a release of pain."
I kept saying it over and over in my mind and I wanted to get out of bed and write it down, but the warm covers felt so good and I could not get the motivation to step out of bed and get paper and pencil, so I just kept saying it over and over so I would not forget it.
I believe those words were for me in this journey we are on.
Something you have to know about me. I am a crier. I have no problem crying. I am not ashamed to cry most of the time. Crying is a cleansing. Crying helps express emotions too deep to express with words, crying is therapeutic, God gave us tears.
But, I think the words, "crying is not a lack of faith, it is a release of pain" came to me to let me know that if I cry about this journey we are on or if I have a time where I am not 100% rock solid and there is not a broad smile on my face 24/7 it does not mean I don't trust God. I believe it may have been from God. The words sounded so profound to me at the time. They sounded so comforting and so beautiful. I was so thankful for the words. They were such a comfort to ME.
Our tears allow us to pour out our hurt to God. God sees our tears.
Psalm 56:8 in the New American Standard version says, "You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?"
The KJV says, "Thou tellest my wanderings: put Thou my tears into Thy bottle: are they not in Thy book?"
The New Living says, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in Your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book."
My take away from all of this is God sees my tears and cares. Once again I am assured that He is with me and on this journey with me/us. I for one am most grateful
Pass the KLEENEX, Please.